Saturday, December 31, 2011

sad is not all bad





We have had the most wonderful Christmas.  All of our children were home and being together is what we love most.  Our quiet house was filled with our five children, our grandson in Emily's womb, and various friends who stopped by to visit them and us during their visit.  There was lots of food, sharing of hearts, game playing and movie watching.  We had a spectacular time for a week straight.  Then yesterday..... Annie was the first to leave.  Her boyfriend Nick arrived to join in the festivities on the 27th and the two of them headed back to Austin yesterday.  Our other four children are still with us and I am grateful that they will leave incrementally. 

But, nonetheless, Annie's departure has left me feeling a bit blue.  Last night I was telling my friend Linda I was sad and she said, "It's OK to be sad."  It helped me to be reminded that saddness is a normal part of our lives.  I tend to avoid and dread it when in actuality it will come and go and riding that wave is necessary.  When you love deeply, you feel deeply.  I so miss having Annie nearby.  I love cooking with her which is something we both love to do and especially together.  I love getting to see what she will wear each day since she has such a wonderful, unique sense of style.  I loved seeing her get to spend time with her siblings, who she had not seen since April.  I love the look on her face when her dad embraces her.  A look of security that knows his embrace is the safest place in the world.

How did it happen so fast?  All our children were living under the same roof with us for so many years and now they have all scattered and moved on to building their own lives.  It is gratifying to see their journeys unfold and where their adventures take them but to be honest, I really miss the season of life that has passed. 

So now I am left to cherish the memories of a Christmas that was so wonderful with them all home to eat my cooking, have me do their laundry and sleep in their beds once again. 



My sadness will become a badge I wear that carries the deep deep love I have for my children.  I will embrace it and know that it would not be there if I did not have this special place in my heart for each of them.  Annie is gone from our house, but has wedged an even deeper place in my heart.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

she was smiling and singing on the outside, but on the inside....

I challenged my high school girls bible study to be a part of blessing others this holiday season.  The simple truth is, for many people, the holidays are a very difficult time.  There are folks all around us everyday that are just hanging on by a thread.  So our challenge was to purchase a gift card with the intension of giving it away.  We would go about our days with our radar up and trust that the Lord would direct us to someone who needed a life line of encouragement.  Then we would all share our stories when we came together again the following week. 

I put some cash into my glove box and asked the Lord to lead me to someone in the next week that I could bless and encourage.  On Wednesday afternoon I ran to Walmart to pick up a few items on my way home.  I still had the cash in my glove box and the girls and I would be meeting again in a few hours.  I had not forgotten about the money, I just had not stumbled onto an opportunity yet. 

Once inside the doors of the store I heard and then saw a middle aged woman who was greeting people as they come into the store.  I assumed she was a Walmart employee.  She was exuberantly wishing all the customers a happy holiday.  I greeter her back and went on my way.

When I had completed my purchase I was heading out the door of the store and noticed the same women who was now ringing the Salvation Army bell.  She was singing Christmas carols quite loudly and continuing to wish everyone in her path a Merry Christmas.  She was not an employee of Walmart after all.  She was the current holiday bell ringer, there to collect money for those in need.  I had a sense that she was carrying quite a bit of "need" herself.  Despite her jovial demeaner, it was not hard to imagine that her life had been filled with it's share of pain.  She greeted me again and I greeted her back and gave her my warmest smile.  I got to my car, loaded in my groceries and hopped behind the wheel to head home and get my stuff unloaded before my bible study gals would arrive.

 As I was leaving the parking lot, I once again encountered the women ringing the bell.  As I glanced  her way, this thought dropped into my heart, "Ask her what her story is".  It was an odd thought out of no where and yet it was a familiar prompting.  In the past, when I have asked the Lord to show me someone in need, He has always been faithful to do so.  This woman was not in my path by mistake.  I pulled my car up close to the building and put it in park.  I reached into my glove box and pulled out the cash I had been saving for a moment such as this.  I headed toward her and when I caught her eye she greeted me once again.  I walked up to her with my eyes locked on hers.  When I got to within a few feet of her I said, "I have a question for you."  She just looked at me and I said to her, "What is your story?"  She looked at me puzzled and asked what I meant.  I rephrased my request by asking her to tell me something about her life.  Within an instant, her facial expression faded from happy to sad and she began to cry.  She said, "I am homeless".  She proceeded to tell me her story and how she had lost her job and was now homeless.  As she continued to cry she said, "you cannot imagine what it is like to be homeless".  There was a look of pain in her eyes that I will not soon forget. 

I told her that I wanted to give her a gift and that I wanted her to know that God had not forgotten her.  I slipped the money into her pocket and that is when she really lost it.  She said, "please pray for me".  I immediately took her hands and looking into her tired eyes prayed that God would make a way for her and that He would demonstrate His love for her in undeniable ways.  She continued to cry and held on to my hands, not wanting to let go.  We talked a little while longer and I assured her that God loved her and turned and began to leave.  I had walked a few feet away and then turned to her one last time.  I pointed to her and said, "He has His eye on you and He loves you." 

It was so hard to walk away.  I wanted to take her home with me.  I wanted to solve all her problems.  I wanted to give her half of my "stuff" which I would not even miss.  I knew I had done what I was suppose to do and that the rest was up to God.  I am praying He will continue to reveal His love to her in undeniable ways.  I was humbled to be used as a messenger of love and encouragement in the life of one who needed some good news.  After all, isn't that what this time of the year is all about?  For me, that was Christmas.   

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

party with a purpose



My friend Joni had a great idea;  invite her friends and neighbors over for a Christmas brunch and ask them to bring a gift for our youth and children at The Hope Center for Kids.  She asked me to come and share about all that is happening at the center and tell of the opportunities to join us in making a difference in the lives of our Hope Center for Kids youth.  It is amazing what a group of single-minded ladies can accomplish.  They asked questions, shared ideas and I left with a bag of toys, financial donations for The Hope Center, and a room full of new friends for HOPE!!

 I also shared how hard this time of the year can be for many among us.  Life can be so challenging at times and I think it helps to know that we are not alone in our struggles.  I challenged them to be on the lookout for those who might cross their path in the days ahead that they could encourage with a surprise gift of money, a word of compassion, or both.  It is truly more blessed to give than recieve.  I was blessed by our time together.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Its 6:00 on Wednesday and they begin coming through the front door.  They are my Millard West High School gals.  They are coming for “baking with Terri”.  It has become a weekly ritual.  I am never sure which girls will show up, but whoever does joins in the baking fun.  We bake cookies or brownies or fun fetti cupcakes or some other sweet treat to be shared later that evening with out Calvary Chapel youth group.  The kitchen becomes filled with chatter, laughter and batter!!  We bake, chat about their day and just enjoy being together. 

It has taken me a while to realize and fully embrace that this is my ministry.  My kitchen has become the vehicle for touching the lives of young women in a fun relaxed setting.  It should have been obvious to me, but I resisted that something that would be so natural, life giving and actually delightful would be how I would be able to invest in the lives of these precious girls.  I love to cook.  I love to bake.  I love anything that has to do with food, eating and feeding people.  I have been a “foodie” for as long as I can remember.  I have never met a food that I didn’t like.  I mark occasions by the food that was served and what I ate.  I salivate just thinking about food.  When I pick up a magazine I end up reading the recipes instead of the articles.  Many of my childhood memories revolve around meals.  Food has always been a huge part of my life.

But, for years I have admired the gifts of other women who I respected and saw as spiritual super stars.  My friend Linda is one of those women.  She is so gifted in ministry and has had a significant impact on the lives of countless young women.  She is a seasoned prayer warrior and has even organized a prayer movement in our city.  In addition she and her husband have counseled scores of young folks, helping them find their way to freedom and wholeness.  Many times I have wished I was more like Linda.  Why couldn’t I pray and council as well as Linda.  She had a spiritual depth and maturity I lacked, or so I thought.  I mean really, I cook and bake while Linda prays and councils. 
As I have matured and learned to embrace who God made me to be, I have accepted my gifts and talents and now realize that what I love to do most is the vehicle through which I can love and nurture young women in a “unconventional” way. The warmth and olfactory sensations that emit from my kitchen are the perfect setting for sharing my love for food and my love for God simultaneously. It should have been obvious but for me it was too easy, too natural, too effortless to allow myself to see it as valid ministry. So.. I am doing what I love to do and believing that is how God can best use me to touch to lives of others, so... on Wednesdays we bake. 







Monday, December 5, 2011

a few holiday survival tips

One of my blog followers asked... do you have any tips to survive the holidays with all we have to do?  I thought of three simple and maybe obvious ones:

1.  I try to wrap gifts as I buy them.  I have a wrapping area where I keep everything and at the end of a day of shopping, I wrap and tag them all.

2.  I cook in bulk this time of the year.  I think of things I can make for dinner and do double so I can either freeze for Christmas week or get several meals out of one cooking session.

3.  I try, if at all possible, to have a day weekly that I do not leave the house.  This is not always possible but if I run errands all other days it is AMAZING  what I can get accomplished in a whole day at home... cleaning, cooking and laundry.  I feel like a new woman, on top of my game, after one of these days!!!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

chrismas decorations done!!

My house has been a huge mess.  It takes me about 4 days to decorate for Christmas and I usually do it the weekend of Thanksgiving. This year our son drove 24 straight hours from California to surprise us.  He brought three friends with him; Anna from New Zealand, Katie from England and Daniel from San Francisco.  We had the most wonderful weekend sharing meals, playing games and sightseeing in our home town.  I love having our house full of "peeps" and really love feeding hungry college students.  They were a grateful bunch and their moans over the food just spurred me on to create the next meal.  So... once they left I began the 4 day endeavor of getting all the Christmas decorations down and creating a huge mess to ultimately create our Christmas wonderland.  Ty, (my hubby), says it looks like Hobby Lobby around here.  I think he meant it to be a compliment.  Each night I go from room to room plugging in our lighted wreaths in each front window, the garland on the mantle, the bannister, our entry way trio of trees, our buffet and on and on; a total of 17 plug ins.  It is so worth it though.  I love love love what the house looks like and even more, love the ambiance it creates for our holiday guests.  I can hardly wait for our children to all arrive home this month and be warmed by the glow that OPPD (Omaha Public Power District) loves me for!!!!

mantle garland


yes a tree on my kitchen counter




Christmas brunch


kitchen window wreaths


cheesy christmas movies

I have watched about 6 Hallmark Christmas movies so far this season.  My hubby thinks they are cheesy but I like them.  They are usually sweet stories with no violence, profanity or vulgarity.  I guess that makes them G rated.  One movie last week was about a single mother with three children whose husband up and left her and took everything.  She had to completely start over with nothing and moved to a small town to start her life over.  The people of the town took her and her children under their wing and helped her build a new life.  People gave of their time and resources to come along side her in her time of need.  It reminded me once again that it truly is more blessed to give than recieve.