Fidelity fence #1

When my husband Ty and I were about to get engaged he initiated a little discussion that I have never forgotten.  We had been talking about spending the rest of our lives together…you know the gig, marriage.  He said to me,” I just want you to know something before I propose to you.  If we get married, divorce will never, ever, ever be an option…ever”.  It is one of those conversations you never forget…ever!  What he was communicating to me is that once we say “I do”, we are stuck with each other forever.  Marriage vows are not just something you recite, but a covenant you make before God and man.  Forever means forever.  That discussion led to a decision we both made.  We embraced a mindset of no turning back and that become our first and most important “fidelity fence”.   

You may not be consciously thinking divorce is an option but beware, it is the prevailing mindset of our culture.  It is not viewed how it once was.  When i was growing up.... several decades ago, darn it, i did not have one friend whose parents were divorced.  I did not know anyone who was divorced. 

We have gotten to the point where it is not shocking when we hear of another couple divorcing. It has sorta become... not so bad anymore.  An unconscious belief is dangerous.  You do not even realize that is is affecting your mindset and ultimately your decisions.  When Ty and I committed to divorce never being an option, we eliminated a whole train of thought.  We never joke or threaten about divorce, leaving, giving up... never!   No trap door menatality. 

If you cannot move out of your house when you are tired of it, you just start fixing it up.  Working to make it as good as it can be.  Now I am not simplifying that fact that many are struggling with very difficult marriages.  But, there is help out there and no one wins in a divorce...most of all the children. 

If you have never "driven a stake into the ground" that divorce will never be an option, it is never too late.